Frustration and Stress

In the grand scheme of things, life for me is generally not stressful. I consider myself fairly lucky in this respect, I work hard, I earn a decent wage but my job is not particularly stressful and life is generally good. I have come to discover, I don't deal overly well with stress. I am a comfort eater most definitely, I want to hit the wine or eat bad food. Not overly helpful when I am trying to lose weight.

I had an unofficial weigh in this morning, which showed me a pound down. Better than expected since last night, I decided to eat my way through a lot of bad food (think 'Global Buffet' at our local Indian Restaurant) and drink half a bottle of wine.

I felt stressed yesterday, work was really frustrating me. I spent a lot of wasted time trying to get something in our application working, only to be told the configuration needed to change, to a version that doesn't work and no one can now tell me how to fix it, but they expect me to do that all the same - even though my version was working. I was also told I was going to be on my own in my team (usually 4 of us) for the whole of December again (this happened last year and it nearly finished me off). Couple that with the fact work is really stalling with any news on pay rises or promotions (we should have found out mid Sept) and my tenant has not paid his rent on time for the 2nd month in a row - well I just felt like it was all too much. I'm also not feeling quite right - dizzy spells and a sick feeling - which has me presuming the worst (I am a major hypochondriac).

Seriously, how ridiculous is that? There is not really anything stressful in any of that - well except for the lack of rent money which means I am seriously struggling to cover my bills until my useless agents actually bother to chase the tenant and get my bloody money in. So, in my mind, that meant I could go out last night and stuff myself silly.

Gah. I am frustrated at myself.

Today I have tried to take control a bit more. I'm taking my meals one at a time, I've applied for a couple of new jobs (in all honesty, I don't really want to move companies, but I feel like I need to do something) and I've emailed my tenant to ask him if everything is ok. If he doesn't reply to me or pay up, then I need to cross that bridge when we come to it, I am blocking that out for now. I've also made an appointment with the doctor as this dizziness has been ongoing for a few weeks now - and well it's probably nothing.

Food today has not been stellar. I've not snacked on crap, which is a start and I've upped my water and fruit intake. Tonight I am babysitting, so dinner is in the hands of my friend, but I will not make a pig of myself.

Tomorrow night we are at a friend's house for dinner and then on Saturday they are taking us for lunch to say thanks for my attendance at their birthing classes and my future role in the birth of their child (eeeek). Other than that, my weekend is hopefully going to be very relaxed and on plan. I might even get myself to the gym.