Things I've learnt this week

• I have lost an inch from my thighs and my waist, gained half an inch on my hips and gained almost 3 inches on my boobs since I was last measured for my wedding dress. Seriously, boobs??
• Going to bed at 415am when I have my nieces staying over is not clever. 
• I cannot cope on 3 hours sleep (see above) and it will take me until today to feel human again. 
• I will decide to have an afternoon snooze once my nieces have left and my dad will decide that's a great time to mow the lawn.
• I will then decide to have a snooze on the plane back to Heathrow and a baby will scream for the entire journey. 
• Despite weeks of Physio, my ankle is still really weak and standing on a pebble will cause it to give way and I will hit the ground like I've been snipered whilst on a visit to a data centre with 2 colleagues. 
• This will be embarrassing.
• My fiancé does not cope with being ill and will lie around like a dying swan all week.
• I don't cope well with his pathetic behaviour and am considering putting him out of his misery. 
• Eating 2 packets of Weight Watchers sweets in one day is a very bad idea. They do make you ill. (VERY ill). 
• Exercising when the weather amazing is a real struggle. Who wants to be in the gym when its beautiful outside?
• Even if I am saintly for 90% of the week on WW, that 10% makes all the difference and I will stay the same at the scales. 

So, as you can tell, I'm just feeling a bit 'meh' this week. I had a lovely weekend at my parents, spent time with my family, sunbathed, BBQ'd and saw friends. Very pleasant indeed.

However, I've decided I've developed a double chin and this is upsetting me. Really, in the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to be meh about. I have next week off and we've lots of lovely things planned, so I am just counting down the days left at work and hopefully I will be a lot less meh soon. 

Too much 'meh'?

Where is my head?

My head is so not in the game. I faced the music on Tuesday and it was 1.5 on. This I can cope with, the fact that yesterday went down the pan after I had committed to giving it a good go, annoys me massively.

There is just something about the sun that makes me want to be out enjoying myself and not slogging my guts out in a gym, so instead of the gym as I'd planned, we went for a walk. Not quite the same but something I suppose.

I ended up having a pint of cider last night, post walk (so worth 7 points) and a couple of Buffalo Burgers.

This would have been fine, had my lunch not have been far worse than I had imagined. A jacket spud with Tuna? 18 flipping points and not even worth one. Massively frustrating. I must be more prepared.

Once again, I am committing to doing better. I'm heading up North to the Parentals tonight, so that is always tricky, but I've committed to a long walk with my Mother tomorrow and I am going to take photos from here on in of everything that passes my lips. Might help me in the right direction.

Seriously, I've 14 weeks to make a difference so why the hell am I messing around??

Weekend Woes

I started to write a post yesterday, before realising it was a misery filled one and to be honest, I've absolutely no reason to be miserable. Monday mornings definitely bring out the worst in me.

Another weekend, another mixed bag. Friday night was fairly restrained by my usual standards. The gym didn't happen - which was not a real surprise, but I managed to avoid eating in the pub so I could maintain a small bit of control.

Saturday was not so good. I was meant to be having a girls lunch (previously a night out) with my best girlfriends. It'd been planned since March so the 6 of us could coordinate diaries & plan babysitters (3 have kids) and I was looking forward to a proper catch up. I don't see them all together very often - in fact the last time was December so you can imagine how pee'd off I was that in the end, it didn't happen. Very disappointing and to be honest, I am done now with trying to organise any more. I guess people move on in life and previously valued friendships no longer hold quite the same importance. Something I've been trying not to accept for the past few years.

So, I was in a mood. My friend Alex, whose first jaunt out this was going to be since the birth of her child, was also similarly annoyed. In the end, me and Matt went round there for a BBQ where we all drank far too much and probably ate too little. Sunday then was a bit of a write off which saw me struggling to move as Alex and I had insisted on Jiving for a fair proportion of Saturday. Ouch.

A good day WW wise yesterday and a very full on PT session. I was actually so exhausted that even the cool down exercises had me gasping for air. My trainer upped my running intervals to 3 minutes at a time - which I think lead to the exhaustion, but the fact I can see an improvement was enough for me to carry on. Today hurts a lot. I expect tomorrow will be worse.

I am not sure what the scales will tell me tonight, but I've not been weighed officially for 2 weeks so I don't expect it will be overly pretty, but I will suck it up. I'm getting remeasured on Friday for my wedding dress, so I will be able to see if, despite the lack of weight loss, there may have been some inches lost with the exercise. Wishful thinking, perhaps?

Sigh

You can probably guess from my silence that I've been a bit, well, crap.

The appointment with the registrar went well, we remembered each others names, jobs and dates of birth, so that was handy. Then to celebrate (seriously?!) we went for breakfast afterwards. Quite what we were celebrating, I've no idea.

My plan for the breakfast had been egg on toast, but on a week day it's The Breakfast Club and you get a Full English, plus a cuppa for a fiver and it seemed rude not to.

Once I got home, had a little lie down (I had the morning off, what else is there to do?) and then remembered it was actually weigh in that night, well the damage was done. A hop on the scales showed that I could either be 6 months pregnant (I assure you this is not the case), carrying a small child on my back or that aforementioned breakfast was weighing really bloody heavily and I was on for a very definite gain.

This lead to my dummy being monumentally spat out. I didn't go to WW and I spent the rest of the day berating myself. I know this was not big it clever an I should have gone and faced the music, but I seriously couldn't face it.

Anyway, things have improved somewhat since then. I had a virtuous day yesterday, another PT session (which was harder than ever last night) and today I've come in bang on points.

The plan for tomorrow is gym after work, no pub and then WW friendly lasagne for dinner.

Saturday I've a girls lunch (was meant to be a boozy night out but that's gone out of the window, I won't go into details as I'm in danger of combusting due to annoyance) but I've already planned for that and should have all of my weekly points at my disposal.

I've only got 15 weeks til the wedding, I can at least get a stone, maybe a stone and a half off by then so my dress is just that little bit more comfortable to wear.

Wish me luck. I fear I may need it.
Especially after discovering this:





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Last minute panic

Why do the weekends persist in going by so quickly? I awoke in a full on foul mood this morning, I had a dreadful night's sleep and then, the return of the rain, along with a 2 hour journey to work (it's 14 miles...) didn't do much to lift my spirits.

I can't say things have improved overly since getting to work. It's days like today when I considering emigrating and running a beach bar. That has to be preferable?

The weekend was another mixed bag. I had PT on Friday where I upped my running to 10 whole minutes. I felt in my breathing that I could have carried on, but my thunder thighs had other ideas so we had to slow down to a fast walk, but 26 minutes in total and I felt very proud of myself. The good thing about PT on a Friday is that I then don't want to drink any from of booze, it feels like a waste.

Saturday I was up fairly bright and early (the joys of not boozing) and headed over to collect my friend to get ourselves to the Spa hotel where we'd be spending the night. Lovely, lovely, lovely. The 2 girlfriends with whom I do this on a fairly regular basis, both have small children, so they love to make the most of their 24 hours of freedom. Hence this happened:

and that was only the half of it. 

Still, I swam approximately 6 lengths and spent some time in the steam room, so that has to counteract any badness, right?

Yesterday was fairly good, despite a full English for breakfast. When I got home, we met some friends for lunch, and I had a salad - no starter or dessert like everyone else. Still, that's not really a massive win and I am not expecting anything good tomorrow night at the scales. 

And so, I've been a bit quiet on the wedding front. I'm suddenly finding myself stressing because it feels like it is really soon (14 weeks til we fly, 15 weeks til the big day, no time at all to be 3 stone lighter).

First of all, my brother in law has severely annoyed me. He is not going on Matt's stag do. The reason from him and my sister was lack of cash, specifically as coming to my Wedding (with the 2 kids) is bankrupting them.  Let's not mention the 10 day all inclusive holiday they are having next month, apparently a weekend in Italy is the most expensive thing ever.

Now Matt's stag do is a weekend in London, my dad and other brother in law are travelling down on the Saturday for just the one night, but apparently BIL no. 1 cannot afford this. So imagine my delight when I see on the dreaded Facebook that he was in Barcelona for the Grand Prix at the weekend. Skint indeed. 

Matt is not at all bothered that he is not in attendance (in all honestly, he is probably a bit relieved) but I am annoyed out of a sense of family. I think he should be there - he went to my other BIL's a couple of years ago and as far as I am concerned, my sister should have told him to be less selfish. Of course, I don't want to cause any family upset, so I will remain quiet. I just don't understand why people can't put their own wants aside at these times  - he wanted to bring a load of his mates, but they are idiots (they fight etc. after a few drinks) so Matt said no. Next thing we know, he is too poor to come. I'd can't be doing with people telling lies. Just say you don't want to go and be done with it. 

Anyway, I am in danger of going off on one so I shall leave it there. 

Tomorrow we've got our appointment with the Registrar to give notice and get our Certificate of No Impediment. I've had a massive panic as none of our paperwork was in order, so I've had to pay extortionate amounts to get it.  Strangely, Matt didn't have his original Marriage Certificate (and really not appropriate to ask his ex wife) and neither of us had our 'long' Birth Certificates, so that was the blind panic last week.

I've also discovered that I am not on any of the utility bills, so I am hoping beyond hope that they accept my driving licence as proof of address. They don't make these things easy, do they? I am strangely nervous about this appointment in case they think we are having some sort of sham marriage, why they'd ever believe that, I don't know, but I am not content unless I am worrying!

I'm also having a few wedding dress issues - no one seems to know when I should be getting measured again or where, so chances are, I will be wearing a bin bag on  the big day - although this would probably be a bit on the sweaty side. I am not going to start panicking about this just yet, but it's in the back of my mind that I really need to get a grip on all things wedding related. 

So, assuming all goes well tomorrow and we get the go ahead to marry, I shall endeavour to be a bit more Bridezilla over the next few weeks. We've now had 50 acceptances, so I really should be a bit more in control. I may have to fake a wedding in Italy if I am not careful!

Did you spot the deliberate mistake?

My last post was on Tuesday, I was happily bragging about my running, blah blah blah. Did you notice the glaring omission? Tuesday is WI day and I was totally oblivious, in fact I didn't even realise I had missed WI til I got an email on Wednesday morning from my leader. As lovely as a Bank Holiday is, it has left me all confused as to my whereabouts.

Seriously, how blonde can one girl be?

So, I don't know where I am at with the scales really. I've been to the gym a few times this week (more running) and I've got PT tonight. Tomorrow I am off to a spa hotel with a couple of girlfriend's for the night. We  get a 3 course meal and a Full English, both of which are likely to be hard to resist but hopefully I can be good for the rest of the time (although there is a lot of Prosecco chat, so who knows). I will attempt to make use of the pool to earn a couple of activity points.

Lots more wedding stuff happening over the next few weeks, it's actually seeming quite close now. Gulp. Perhaps this will give me a kick up the behind?

run fat girl, run.

I have a confession.

My name is Linz and on Saturday, I ran. I ran for 6 whole minutes. To most people, I realise this is not earth shattering, but bearing in mind my previous record was 30 seconds, I am very proud.

I was so not feeling the love for the gym on Saturday. I only agreed to go to shut Matt up. I got there in a huff, put on my headphones and thought I'd have a little stomp on the treadmill and head home. Something strange happened. Once I was listening to my music, I kind of forgot where I was and it just seemed appropriate to run. Very odd. I felt like a normal person, I felt like I could run instead of that ridiculous speed walking I've been used to. Let's hope it wasn't a one off.

I am supposed to have PT tonight, but I've been up most of the night with some very strange chest goings on. During the night, in my totally OTT way, I was convinced the end was nigh so I've not really had much sleep and today I am finding breathing a bit of a struggle, so PT is probably not the answer. If it ever stops raining, I may go for a walk later.

In other news, the eating is still very on and off. I have had a couple of really good days and some pretty terrible ones, but I am still thinking about it which I suppose is half the battle. I've planned most of the week and don't have many social outings, so fingers crossed.

One meal at a time, one day at a time.

Emotional eating

Yesterday was not a good day and I totally let my emotional state get the better of me - which resulted in a massive use of points last night.

I came into the office early and despite pretty much always being the first person in the office, my alarm key fob decided not to work and I had to endure the world's loudest alarm for 30 minutes, plus a visit from the Police, so that was nice.

So, the day didn't get off to the best of starts. I then had to put up with a member of the Consulting team at work speaking to me like I was some form of idiot. He was patronising, condescending and downright rude. I almost lost my temper, so had to spend 5 minutes trying to regain my composure in the loo's. Couple that with so much going on that everyone kept telling me was urgent, well I was in the mood to end all moods. Savage I think was the description Matt used.

Stupidly, this meant I sacked off the gym in favour of the pub. When will I learn?

The result is despite having a healthy tea which had already been planned, I drank far too much using loads of points and I feel like cack today.

I am struggling not to eat everything in sight. I've had an egg sarnie and some crisps and I've resorted to a fat Coke to try and perk myself up. Nothing is working. I think the only answer is to go home to bed!

I am going to try and get to the gym tonight, although it might not be a winner if I still feel fragile. So I'll have to go Saturday and Sunday. Boo.

Anyway, one small blip does not mean the rest of the week has to be a write off. I'm not out tonight (good job really) we've one social event tomorrow - A Cinco de Mayo party, but other than that, I should be fairly restrained.

I tried being really angelic last week and I lost 1lb, maybe this week I will lose loads and I can market my new diet and make a fortune.

Happy weekend everyone, enjoy the Bank Holiday.

Weigh in

I think I've inadvertently gone a bit AWOL of late, not intentional but I usually blog from work (naughty, I know) and I've had one of my friends shadowing me the past week as she starts with us soon. I can't really therefore sit and bang on about my latest weight traumas whilst I'm meant to be showing her the ropes. I don't think blogging is part of the job spec.

Thanks also to those who've nominated me for blog awards. Will try and do those posts soon.

So anyway, what's news? Well I've been pretty smug as I managed 3 PT sessions in 5 days. Yes people, 3. That's 3 hours of full on exercise to the point I can't speak.

I have to admit that I was massively struggling with any form of movement on Saturday - I had to resort to rolling instead of walking, but no pain no gain, right?

I'd also had a reasonably good week WW wise, hardly any booze, healthy meals, limited treats, couple that with a shed load of activity points (i.e 60!!!) and well I felt like She-Ra.

I am however still lardy. 1lb off this week, while I know last week was a sheer fluke and I shouldn't have lost a thing, I can't help but feel slightly bloody annoyed. I mean I temporarily lost the ability to bend my legs and where does it get me? Ok yes, I'm fitter, but I've still got 2 chins. I've consoled myself with a curry and some wine and I wonder why I'm treading water....

I need to have a dress (of the wedding variety) fitting soon and I'm actually thinking I'm bigger than I was when I had my measurements taken. Ho hum. I was happy where I was back then, so I just need to get back there and maintain that.

Oh well, at least I'll have a pretty Tatty Devine necklace to wear on the evening. How wonderfully tacky?




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