Miracle and a realisation....

Erm, by some complete and utter fluke, I managed to lose 1lb. I totally don't deserve a loss after the last few weeks I've had.

BUT perhaps I am just not as bad as I think I am. Perhaps, after months of religiously (and not so religiously) counting every point that passes my lips, I am maybe a bit over critical of myself when I am not so saintly.

I need to look at the facts and start realising that there are changes within me. I know I cannot eat as much as I used to, and I am much more aware of what I do eat. I even stop when I feel full and leave things that I don't like - something I used to massively struggle with. I'd eat the stuff I didn't really like first (some form of self torture maybe??) and save the best bit on the plate until last, but there would pretty much always be an empty plate. I find fatty foods taste, well, fatty to me. I don't enjoy them like I used to.

I make better choices with alcohol than I used to - once upon a time pints of cider and bottles of wine would be fairly easily polished off, these days it's vodka with soda water or the odd glass of wine or bubbly (ok, maybe more than the odd glass of late!). I exercise more and have now been a member of a gym for a year (normally I manage 3 months at most). I now think nothing of walking the 25 minutes to the train station - this time last year I'd have gotten the bus, or more likely a taxi. I actively try and go out for a walk at lunch time, instead of sitting at my desk browsing the web.

I am far from perfect and I still have a long way to go, but I've lost 48.5 pounds this year. That's an achievement. This is a life change, not a diet. There will be times, like Birthdays, Christmas and Holidays where I won't be as good as I could be. But that is normal, that is how thin people are.

Phew, I feel better for that!

So in other news.... I had my last physio session on my ankle last night. She said my balance has greatly improved, there is still some inflammation, but not much more she can do. I have exercises to perform to increase my strength and try to realign my knee (it's all out of kilter from the repeated ankle sprains). I just need to always wear an ankle support when I do any sort of activity. But I am good with that. Its still tender and a bit painful at times, but I will get there.

Tonight I need to write some Christmas cards and pack for the weekend in Birmingham. I'm going to do 30 minutes on the Wii Fit as well as a compromise for not going to the gym. Tomorrow I am meeting a load of girls I used to work with at DHL. We are off to a gorgeous place in Richmond for dinner and drinks. There will be 9 of us so it should be really good fun. My last train home is at 2354 so I have to make sure I don't miss that as Matt is away at his Christmas Do, there is no chance of him coming to rescue me (not that he ever would!). I fully intend to relax and enjoy myself, choose wisely and not over do it.

Friday we drive up to Birmingham for Christmas with Matt's family and then Monday I have another former DHL night out in London. I may have to forgo this one however as we drive to my parents on Tuesday and I need to pack for that and for our New Year holiday in Tenerife at some point. Too much to do and too little time!

So now I am off out for a stomp around in the snow. Have a good one everyone and lets all stop beating ourselves up about enjoying the festivities!